Poke the Guy

Throwing away the conventions of regular slot machines to make something unique is something we usually support. Without innovation, we would never have gotten fun things like rolling reels, massive amounts of paylines, and various special features that stray from the boring norm of free spins. We’d have thought Microgaming understood as much – if you’re doing something different, make it varied and fun.

After all, it was Microgaming that made Mega Money Rush, which did away with reels and paylines and was super interesting to play, despite the luck element. Poke the Guy doesn’t have that same spark. We don’t call it a slot because it doesn’t really fit the definition of a slot, but we’d be hard pressed to even call it a game. The tagline may read ‘Simple, silly fun’, but the only thing that applies there is simple. So simple that you will literally see everything the title has to offer in the first five minutes that you play it.

It’s clear that the developers at Microgaming wanted to make the Guy as annoying as humanly possible, and that’s one facet where this slot is entirely successful. You have a variety of choices with which to attack the Guy with, such as a rubber duck, a tree, a fish, a butcher’s knife and a heap of explosive dung that blows up when it hits him. The entire time, the Guy is jumping around, making silly faces and wrecking havoc on the city, and only stops if you hit him.

Now, if there was an element of skill to this, such as anticipating where he might land next and targeting there, it wouldn’t be so bad. Or if there was some kind of special feature during which you had better chances at hitting the Guy, or slowing him down. There’s nothing there. It’s as simple as can be. Set your bet, choose the symbol you want to hit him with, and just click spin over and over. It’s monotonous, it’s boring, and the person who decided this was enough to be a full-fledged release needs to be fired. This is barely a game. The one mercy that Microgaming has afforded us is the inclusion of a fast spin button on all versions.

You can play Poke the Guy for $0.01 up to $30 per spin, depending on what icon you have chosen to shoot the Guy with, as well as how much you’ve chosen to spin. What about rewards, you might ask? Well, every time you hit the guy, you can win between 2x to 18x your wager, with 500x being the jackpot. And the way the Microgaming’s release decides when you win what amount of money? It’s random. Why bother with different symbols on the reels when you can just assign random prizes for the random times you hit the Guy?

There are no reels, there are no symbols, and there also aren’t any special features either. The only thing that Poke the Guy offers you is the cathartic feeling of release of seeing the Guy’s stupid smug face get cut off into pieces or when the rubber duck whacks him between the legs. However, none of the prizes, save for the obvious 500x jackpot, are enough to keep you in the long run, so even that prize comes with the foul taste that you’re contributing to Microgaming’s profit with this disgrace of a game.